


Memory

by mightypocketcow



Category: Smosh
Genre: F/M, i am so so so proud of this one though!!!, its one of my faves, its rly long but some of the chapters are shorter than others, this is really angsty at bits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-11 19:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19933039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mightypocketcow/pseuds/mightypocketcow
Summary: Reader wakes up in the hospital unable to remember seven years of her life.  What happened?





	1. Seven Years

It takes me a few moments to realize someone is saying my name; it’s being said softly and gently, by a voice that I recognize but cannot place.

I open my eyes slowly, but all I see is a white ceiling. I hear a quiet gasp from my right and turn my head to see Matt Sohinki, of all people, sitting beside the bed I am laying on, and I become vaguely aware that he is holding my hand.

Before I can say anything, he leans forward, gripping my hand tightly and pointedly making eye contact with me. “Y/N, love, thank goodness. I was scared that you– well, I was starting to worry that you wouldn’t– just, thank God you’re not– fuck…” His voice trails off and he looks down. I can see that his eyes are tearing up, and while my heart is fluttering at hearing him say my name, not to mention call me ‘love’, it also breaks at the sight of him beginning to cry.

“S-Sohinki?” I murmur, still a bit confused. I adore this man, but only from afar as a celebrity crush, and as my favourite YouTube star. Why is he at my bedside? Why do I even havea bedside? What happened? What is currently happening?

“…Y/L/N.” He makes a choked chuckling sound, still not making eye contact. “Do I really have to keep reminding you that last names aren’t real nicknames?”

“What are you… where is… what is… where am I?” I stumble over my words, not sure which question I want answered first.

Sohinki finally looks up. “You’re in the hospital, love. You and Joven got into a terrible accident with a drunk driver and we all thought you– well, you’re safe now.”

Despite my confusion, my stomach drops in anxiety; I need to know… “Is Joven alright? Where is he?” I try to look around the room but my neck is stiff and all I see is pale blue walls and what looks like a slightly ajar door to my left

“Joven is alright.” He gives a soft, sad smile. “He has a concussion and a few broken bones, but he is recovering. The jackass T-boned Joven’s car from the driver’s side, so you got the brunt of the accident. They weren’t sure if–” He takes a deep and shaky breath, looking at his hands again, and his eyes fill with tears once more. “They weren’t sure if you would make it. You’ve been unconscious for… well, a while.”

“But… why was I in a car with Jovenshire in the first place?” My curiosity and confusion finally get the better of me now that I know Joven is safe. What possible circumstances lead me to share a car with Joshua Ovenshire? Am I in some kind of purgatory?

Sohinki breathes deeply again, trying to hold himself together. “You were on your way to get lunch for the group. We had finished up that surprise reunion Game Bang video we had planned, and we were all starving, so Joven volunteered to go get Chinese food… He asked you to come with him, since he had had a bit of alcohol, so you could drive, and he didn’t want to crash into anything… Ironic, isn’t it?” He tries to let out a laugh, but it sounds more like a sob.

I still don’t understand why he is so emotional, but I let him continue, fascinated as much as confused by the story; he’s averted his gaze from mine again, and his voice has gone soft. “Mari was the first one to notice that something was off. Joven wasn’t texting her back when she said she had changed her mind about part of her order, and you know how he is about texting Mari back.” No, I don’t think I’m that in-tune with Joven’s texting habits, but alright.

“Then I tried calling you and got nothing. I figured Joven would have at least answered your phone for you if you were driving. Mari, Wes and I got into Wes’ SUV and tried to find you guys and… well, we did.”

“You found us? At the accident?” I can barely piece together how horrifying it must have been for Mari to find Joven in such a state; as much as I know I’m clueless about their everyday habits, I know that those two are as close as can be and I genuinely hope I’m misunderstanding what Sohinki is saying.

He nods almost imperceptibly, and my stomach drops again. “We had to stop twice for emergency vehicles to pass when getting closer to the restaurant, and we tried not to assume the worst. But when we approached the intersection, Mari recognized Joven’s car immediately. I’ve never heard her scream so loud, nor have I ever seen her act so quickly. Wes slammed on the brakes, and before I could even get out of the door to get to you, Mari was already out there trying to convince, or rather force, the line of police to let her get to Joven.”

Something about the last sentence makes my spirit, which was determined to listen to the whole story, not just break but nearly shatter. “You were trying to get to me?”

He looks up again, a hint of hurt in his teary hazel eyes. “Of course, Y/N. We may not have that eternity of friendship behind us like Mari and Joven, but you’re still my girlfriend.”

“G-Girlfriend!” I sputter, blinking rapidly in surprise. “I’m your girlfriend?!”

His brows furrow, but before he responds, a nurse I didn’t see before approaches from my other side. “I don’t mean to intrude on your conversation, sir, but it’s possible Miss Y/L/N may have some memory issues due to the nature of her injuries.”

“Memory issues?” Sohinki questions. “But she remembered my name, and who Joven and Mari were…”

“Did you know each other for long before dating? Her brain may have, to put it simply, gone back to an earlier time.”

“Yeah, for a few years, but…”

“Hang on, Sohinki, we’ve known each other for years?” I interrupt. “I’ve been friends with Matt Sohinki for years and I don’t even remember it. Just my luck.”

“Wait, if you don’t remember us as friends, what do you think I am to you?” His eyes reflect that little bit of hurt again, and I can’t help but feel guilty for however many years worth of friendship (romance?) it is that I can’t remember.

“A semi-famous YouTuber that I am kind of in love with?” I say truthfully.

He lets out a bitter laugh, hanging his head again. “Semi-famous. Thanks, love.” 

My heart soars at the pet name.

“How long ago did that change?” The nurse inquires, and while I almost want her to leave him alone - can’t she see he’s hurting? - I too want to know the answer.

“Seven years.”


	2. Moss-Boy

“Seven years...” I echo, sinking my head into the pillow behind it and staring up at the blank ceiling as though it will give me answers. How could I possibly have forgotten seven years of my life in an instant? Perhaps this is all a bad dream… yes, that’s all this is, a dream. I just need to wake myself up. 

“Wake up.” I murmur to myself, and I can almost feel Sohinki’s gaze on me. “Wake up, damn you, wake up!” I repeat angrily under my breath as tears start to sting my eyes. 

I start to lift my hand out of Sohinki’s grasp, but he holds onto it tightly with only one hand. “You can’t wake yourself if you’re not asleep, love. This isn’t a dream.”

I lift my other hand and, before I can be stopped, pinch myself hard on the top of my thigh with my fingernails. I cry out, partly in pain and partly because I  _ felt _ the pain. How could this not be a dream?

The nurse, who exchanges a quick glance with Sohinki, seems to decide to leave this up to him because she walks off, most likely to another patient. Some small part of me hopes it’s Joven, that he’s recovering too, but a larger part of me hopes he’s already out of the hospital. 

Suddenly, it hits me. This  _ must  _ be real. I would have woken up by now if it wasn’t. I am really friends with the Smosh Games crew. I’ve been with them for seven years. I am romantically involved with the literal man of my dreams. I got into a massive car accident. And I don’t remember a damn moment of it.

I feel my eyes start to tear up. “I can’t remember anything… why can’t I remember…?” I can’t even complete my thought before I start sobbing. The tears are rolling out of my eyes straight down my temples into my hair and ears, but I can’t stop. All I can do is think about how much pain I’m causing Sohinki, and how terrible this all is, and how much pain everyone else must be in, and how badly I want to remember everything.

“Y/N, love, it will be okay.” Sohinki reaches for my other hand and clasps it too. I look at him and he gives me what I assume is supposed to be an assuring smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes; all I see there is pain.

“But I feel so… so  _ badly _ about it. I can’t remember anything about… being part of the group… or about us… I can’t remember meeting you or anyone else. I don’t know what’s going on, I don’t remember the accident, I don’t – oh fuck, what if I caused it? What if I distracted Joven or something? I’m… I’m so sorry, Sohinki...”

He finally interjects at that. “First off, please… stop calling me Sohinki. You haven’t called me that in years; it’s always Matt. Or ‘my darling’, but we can work back to that… In any case, don’t you dare blame yourself for the accident. Joven did the same thing as soon as he found out you hadn’t woken up. It took Kate and Mari ten minutes to calm him down.”

“Is he still in the hospital? Does he know I’m alright? I don’t want him to feel guilty for anything.”

He lets out a soft chuckle. “Everyone will be by soon. It’s nearly six-thirty, they always come by for a few hours in the evening to check on us–uh, to check on you.”

“Check on  _ us _ ? How long have _ you _ been here?”

He doesn’t answer immediately, but eventually lets out a small sigh of defeat. “As long as you have.”

“…And how long is that?”

“Honestly, I don’t remember.” He lets go of one of my hands and reaches down into his sweater pocket for his phone. “It’s the 24 th , so… nine days?”

“You’ve been in that chair for nine days and you haven’t passed out?”

“I’ve napped,” he says defensively. “And Wes always brings me food. Nice as Moss-Boy is, he actually has only eaten it on the way over once.”

“…You mean Lasercorn? You call Lasercorn ‘Moss-Boy’? That’s great.” I laugh.

“Actually, you came up with that one. You also used to call Joven ‘Frodo’ sometimes, but it didn’t stick as much as Moss-Boy has. Most of us call him that now.”

I snicker. “Frodo… yeah, sounds about right. I mean, he has Shire in his name, why not?”

A melancholy smile crosses Sohinki’s – Matt’s – face. “You also occasionally called me Princey for a little while, back before we started dating. Do you remember why?”

“Princey… let me think…” I pause momentarily, giving it genuine thought. “Your middle name is Eric, like the Prince from Disney’s The Little Mermaid… does that sound right?”

He lets out a wholesome, heartfelt laugh. “That’s exactly how you reasoned it the first time I questioned the nickname.”

I grin at him. He smiles back, with significantly less hurt in his eyes, and runs his thumb across the back of my hand, which he’s still holding.

Before I can say anything else – ask about other things or apologize again maybe – there’s a buzz from Matt’s phone. His face falls from the smile as he picks it up, but his eyes only flit across the screen for a moment before he grins again. “Wes and the others are here; they just got to the desk, they’re on their way up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a kudos or comment if you'd like!  
> Be safe and healthy, and have a great day!


	3. Friends

I sit up a bit. “What others? Who else will be coming besides him and Joven?”

“Mari, Lasercorn, and probably Shayne; he’s been really worried about you. He basically hasn’t stopped texting me every hour for the last ten days.”

“Shayne? He’s been worried about me?”

Matt gives me a soft smile. “Shayne is your best friend, love. You can’t not be worried about your best friend.”

“Shayne Topp is my best friend? That’s amazing!”

“You really hit it off with him when you met. People actually had bets going that you two would be the ones to date if the opportunity ever came, but Shayne has been dating someone else for a while and, well, you have me, right?” He gives me a wink, and I flush.

“I have you...” I murmur, more to myself than to him, but he wiggles his eyebrows playfully and I look away, break my eye contact with him as my face goes more red.

Matt laughs at my reaction, and I look back at him to see that while the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, he has no pain in his them; just pure, genuine… love, if I can call it that.

“You do have me, Y/N. You always do. You always will.”

I flush again, and while I turn my head away again realize that I hear muffled voices, and I see that the door of the room I’m in – which I have just noticed is semi-private with an empty second bed – is slightly ajar. What I hear is likely people out in the hallway that are close to the door, but the voices get louder, and I begin to hear footsteps approaching the door.

“Is that them?” I ask, not hearing the voices clearly enough to recognize any of them.

Before Matt can respond, there’s a very soft knock at the door and Wes peeks his head in. “Hey, Sohinki, how are – holy shit!”

Wes makes eye contact with me and almost drops the plastic bag he’s holding. I hear another voice say, “What is it? Is she awake?” before the door opens further and Wes is nearly trampled as four other people pile in.

I hear a multitude of gasps and “holy shit” and “she’s awake”. Before I can even register who is there they’ve all paraded to my bed and are all standing around me, happily chattering. I can’t understand a word they are saying since they are all talking at once, so I glance at Matt with what I hope is a ‘please-help-me’ look. It must work, because he interrupts them. “Okay, guys, calm down. She just woke up less than an hour ago, and she doesn’t know what’s going on.”

They all trail off quickly, staring at Matt in stunned silence. I take the lack of sensory overload as an opportunity to figure out who is there. Mari, standing just to my left, opposite Matt. Joven, standing next to her, with his left arm in a sling. Lasercorn, on the other side of Joven. Shayne, getting comfy on the arm of Matt’s chair. Wes, behind the chair, taking various containers out of the bag he nearly dropped.

Finally, Joven demands, “What do you mean she doesn’t know what’s going on? Haven’t you told her about the accident?”

“She has memory loss. She can’t remember at least the last seven years.” Matt says softly.

“Seven years?” Mari echoes, looking as confused as I felt when I awoke.

“Does that mean she doesn’t remember who we are?” Wes has frozen in place, a container in each hand, looking between me and Matt.

“I remember who you are.” I clarify quietly. “I remember you all from YouTube.”

“Like, from watching Smosh?” Shayne inquires, and I nod.

“Dude, that was a while ago.” Joven points out. 

I see Mari roll her eyes. “Nearly seven years, Joven. As we’ve established.”

“I meant for Moss-Boy and Sohinki. It’s been a while since they were on the channel. Like, nearly ten years.”

I widen my eyes. “What year is it?”

Mari and Joven exchange a look, but Wes pipes up. “2026.”

“What the  _ fuck _ ?” I screech, and I look at Matt. “It’s 2026!?”

“Y-Yeah…” He stutters. “What year did you think it was?”

“I don’t know… the last thing I remember it was 2019.”

Everyone is quiet again for a few moments. 

Shayne breaks the silence. “What is the last thing you remember?”

“I remember… it was April… late April… it was a warm day, and it was really sunny… and I wanted to go out for dinner… it was nice. I had a nice dinner with my cousin Y/C/N.”

Matt inhales sharply, bringing up his other hand to hold mine in both of his. “Y/N… I remember you telling me about this. That’s… not a good memory for you.”

“What? Why?”

Before anyone can respond, a different nurse from before comes in. 

“Oh, how sweet! Your friends are here again.” The nurse says happily, and he walks over to the I.V. stand, that I didn’t notice before, next to Mari. “I heard you woke up, honey. I’m so glad. We were all worried you wouldn’t make it. Though…” He turns his head to Matt, who looks up at him. “I hear she’s also having memory issues?”

“Yeah.” Matt says. “The last thing she can remember happened over seven years ago.”

“I see. Was it another traumatic event?”

Matt makes eye contact with me. “Yes, it was.”

“That tends to happen sometimes with memory loss that isn’t back to ‘ground zero’, as I call it, whether permanent or temporary.”

The group all look at the nurse, horrified looks on their faces. “You mean this could be permanent?” Joven asks in a higher tone than normal, and it’s clear he’s beginning to freak out.

“It’s possible, but I doubt it. Temporary memory loss is common with the type of head injuries she has had, but it rarely lasts longer than a few weeks.”

They continue talking about me, above me, as though I’m not even there, but I start to zone out. How can I never remember the last seven years of my life? What had possibly happened to me that was so traumatizing that my brain reset itself to that point? And honestly, I am still confused as to how I could have possibly met these people. I live – lived? – in the middle of basically nowhere compared to their home of Los Angeles.

As I’m contemplating this, I feel someone tap my arm and I snap back to reality. It’s Mari, and she’s now sitting on a chair on my left-hand side, leaning over the bed to whisper to me as the men above us talk. “Y/N… are you okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Be safe and healthy, and have a great day!


	4. Forgetting

“I wish I knew. I just don’t know what’s going on, and it’s frustrating and humiliating.” I start to tear up again, and I don’t notice that everyone else has stopped talking and is now listening to me. “How could I possibly have met you guys? What even happened in April 2019? And…” I let out a soft snort. “How in the hell were Matt Sohinki’s standards so low that he agreed to date me?”

Mari is silent. It’s then that I realize everyone else is too, and I look around at everyone to see that they are staring at me.

My eyes settle on Matt. The hurt is back in his eyes as he answers my questions for me, in the simplest and quickest way that he can. “You met us by winning a full pass to a Con in July 2019 in L.A. The only group you wanted to meet at the Con was us, so you used the money you had to buy premium meet-and-greet passes to hang out with us for all four days of the con. We got along with you quite well, and you and Mari exchanged emails to keep in contact. From there, we all kept in contact with you. We eventually added you to a large group chat and met up a few times over the next year. Sometime in July 2020 –”

Shayne snorts. “Sometime.”

Lasercorn points at Matt teasingly. “Don’t even act like you don’t know the exact day, Sohinki.”

Matt sighs, his gaze going downward, a blush forming across his cheeks. “July 23 rd .”

Shayne high-fives Lasercorn.

“Anyway…” Matt starts, looking back up at me, still blushing. “In July, Mari asked you if you wanted to move down to L.A. and be part of the channels. You said yes, and you moved down in mid-September.” Shayne and Lasercorn give him a pointed look, and Matt sighs again. “September 14 th , alright?”

I can’t help but giggle at this, and Shayne looks at me. “Ha! I made her laugh!”

“You moved down in September and you became part of the Smosh Squad.” Matt tries to continue, but Shayne interrupts again.

“Noah was really happy to not be so pointedly the youngest on the Squad anymore.”

“You joined the Games crew a lot, and even guest starred on ToasterGhost a few times. We all became really fond of you, and you fit in well with everyone.”

This time, it’s Joven that interrupts. “Some of us were fonder of you than others, eh Sohinki?”

“Shut up, Frodo.” I say, hoping to shut him up; I really want to hear what’s happened.

It really, really doesn’t work.

“She just called me Frodo! She hasn’t called me that in ages! Is she remembering things? Are we jogging her memory?” Joven speaks a mile a minute, and Matt has to say his name several times before he listens.

“I reminded her about the Frodo thing earlier. We ended up talking about nicknames, and I mentioned that she used to call you Frodo.”

“Yeah, and I call him Moss-Boy.” I grin, pointing at Lasercorn.

“Everybody calls me Moss-Boy.” Lasercorn scoffs.

“But she started that.” Mari says.

“Oh yeah.”

“Anyway, Soh–Matt, please, keep going.” I plead.

He seems to quickly dismiss, if he even notices, the slip-up. “You hung out with the Games crew more than the squad outside of work, and that still included me and Moss-Boy. We got close and…” He stopped. “No, not now.”

I furrow my brow. “What?”

“You asked about April 2019.” He says, looking pointedly at his hands – still holding mine – and avoiding my question. “It wasn’t a good time for you. I remember you talking about it a lot, and I remember being the only one you talked to on the first and second anniversaries of...”

His distraction works, I’ll give him that. “Anniversary of what? Matt, what happened?”

He sighs and looks at me. “That’s the day your grandmother died.”

I gasp, and let out a choked sobbing noise, and everyone is silent again; uncomfortably silent, as if any noise made by anything other than my gasps for air will break me, like I’m fragile.

After a few minutes of silence, the awkwardness of what feels like everyone staring at me while I stare at the ceiling, slowly and finally stopping my soft crying, seems to become too much. 

“Anything to do with your grandmother was a really difficult memory for you, for a long while.” Shayne says quietly, and I turn my gaze to him. “You’ve gotten past it recently, and I think it’s mainly due to this guy.” He swats Matt’s arm playfully with his hand, but Matt doesn’t respond.

“It’s been… seven years?”

“Just over,” states Mari. “It’s June.”

The brief silence that follows would be more comfortable than the last one, had it not been for the tense air that seemed to visibly surround Matt. The silent tension between everyone is broken when that happy male nurse comes in through the door; I didn’t even realize he had left.

“Alright, guys and gals, sorry to break up the reunion but visiting hours are over. It’s past seven o’clock.”

I get an awkwardly-positioned, but very warm, hug from everyone except Matt, who remains in his seat. They all give shoulder-pats and happy sentimental words to him, but he seems distracted, and merely nods without looking up, and gives the occasional ‘thank you’.

After everyone else is gone– Wes having left the containers on the table beside Matt – I take my other hand and I put it on top of Matt’s. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He states unconvincingly, still looking at his lap.

“Liar.” I mutter, but I don’t push it. Instead, hoping to change the subject, I request, “Tell me about us.”

His breathing hitches and he hesitates. He places his forehead on our hands, and I feel that his face is hot. His voice breaks as he replies. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” 

“It’s… really difficult.” He sits back up, leans back in his chair, letting go of my hands. I try not to take note of the redness in his eyes, but I already miss the warmth, and I want him to take my hands again. “I can’t do it. Not now. You need to rest. I need to rest.”

I don’t try to press him, so I lean back into my pillows and just watch Matt as he grabs a small blanket that’s somehow been under his chair the whole time. He covers his back with it like a cape as he leans forward, crossing his arms on the edge of the bed and laying his head upon them like a pillow.

Not wanting him to go to sleep upset, I move my hand to grasp one of his, and thankfully he squeezes it back. I hear a muffled voice say something that sounds like “I love you.”

I don’t respond. Instead, I close my eyes and try to bring back any memory that will come to mind from the last eight years. I come up with bits and pieces, but nothing very whole, before I fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Be safe and healthy, and have a great day!


	5. Recollection

~

_ “Y/N! Guess what, guess what, guess what!?” Matt tears down the small hallways leading to the squad room, yelling at the top of his lungs, nearly slamming into a wall as he rounds a corner. “Y/N!” _

_ “Holy crap, Princey, what do you want?” Y/N turns in her chair – as do Shayne and Courtney, who are also in the room – to look at her (dumbass) best friend Matt as he almost falls through the open doorway.  _

_ He grabs the doorframe to steady himself, wide grin on his face, and tries to simultaneously catch his breath and proclaim his good news. “I.. got us… tickets… to see… that big… Michael… Jackson… tribute concert!” _

_ Y/N gasped. “What?! For real?! I didn’t think there were any left!” _

_ Shayne and Courtney share a happy-yet-annoyed glance – Matt and Y/N haven’t stopped talking about this concert for months and were incredibly disappointed to not get tickets… but now they  _ **_really_ ** _ won’t shut up about it.  _

_ “Yes! I managed to get a hold of an old friend of mine and he got us the very last two tickets!” _

_ She squealed, jumping up to throw her arms around Matt. “Oh Matt! Thank you!! I’m so excited!” _

_ He smiled wider, returning the hug and sending a pointed glance to a smirking Courtney over Y/N’s shoulder. _

_ “Okay, I’m super happy for you guys,” Shayne starts, “but Courtney and I really need Y/N for this project, and we don’t have a lot of time for it.”  _

_ “Sorry.” Y/N and Matt apologize at the same time, breaking apart with a slight flush across their faces.  _

_ As Y/N takes her seat again, and Matt aims to leave, they turn and meet eyes again, grinning broadly at each other in anticipation of what’s to come. _

~

“Y/N…” I can hear Matt calling my name, and I snap my eyes open. 

I’m back in the hospital room… wasn’t I just somewhere else? The old Smosh office, maybe?

“How are you feeling?” He asks, and I turn my head to face him. He’s sitting on the same chair as before, same clothes, same containers on the table that Wes left the night before. A small part of me hopes the food hasn’t gone bad, or that Matt at least ate something. 

“A bit better.” I say truthfully. “I think… I had a dream about something… some old memory…”

“Really?” I see his eyes start to shine. “Tell me about it.”

“I… I was in the squad room… with Shayne and Courtney… and you came running down the hall yelling for me… and you said you had good news…”

“This could be any number of memories. That’s normally how news started with us.” He chuckles.

“You got tickets for something. A concert. Michael Jackson, I think.”

His eyes widen. “The Michael Jackson tribute concert in New York in June 2024, for fifteen years after his death.”

“Yeah, that was it!”

“I remember that distinctly. That was about a month before I asked you out for real.”

“I wish I could remember that.” I sigh. It kills me that I’ve been dating the real, actual Matthew Sohinki for nearly two years and I can’t even remember how he asked me out.

“It’ll come back to you eventually… for now, I’m just really glad you remembered something.”

The rest of the day goes without any new memories, much to my dismay. The nurse comes in to bring me small amounts of food twice, but I notice by the second visit with some discomfort that Matt hasn’t touched what Wes brought almost a whole day ago.

“Matt…” I start after the nurse leaves. “You need to eat something.”

He waves his hand nonchalantly, looking at his phone. “I’m fine.”

“Matt.” I say in what I hope is a commanding voice. It works, somewhat, and he looks up at me. “Eat something.”

“Fine…” Matt relents, putting his phone in his pocket. He stands and stretches, turning to the table to look at the containers, peering into the translucent lids.

“No, not that stuff. It’ll be gone bad by now; those containers are plastic.”

He picks a container and sits. “Love, these are Thermos containers. The food will be good for at least another day.”

“Whoa. What have I missed in eight years?” I blink, mesmerized by whatever Thermos came up with.

He chuckles. “Wes has been making extra food, in case you woke up, so I could share it with you.” Then he holds his fork up. “Pineapple?”

“Oh, please! I love pineapple!” I reply happily.

“I know.” He says as he holds the pineapple up next to my mouth. “We all know. He’s been sending me with pineapple every day. If I don’t eat it, he takes it back and gives it to Olivia.”

As I chew the pineapple, I get a sudden weak memory of having a contest to see whether Olivia or I can eat a half-pineapple, with just a spoon, the fastest. “Yeah, I remember; Olivia loves pineapple as much as I do.”

Matt nearly drops the fork. “You remember that?”

“I remember a pineapple-eating contest with her. I think I won.”

Matt grins, and for the first time it reaches his entire face. He reaches for my hand with his free one. “Yeah… you did."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally supposed to be two different chapters but I feel like y'all (cough Damien cough) would've hated me for where I separated it so here, have a whole long chapter.  
> Be safe and healthy, and have a great day!


	6. Damn You

Suddenly, my eyes start welling up with tears. I can’t figure out what I’m feeling… somewhere between happiness and anxiety, mixed with guilt.

“What’s wrong, love?” His grin falls instantly, and I feel even worse that I ruined his happiness.

I start crying harder, and he puts the pineapple back on the table and sits on the edge of the bed, beside my hand, and reaches up to run his fingers through my hair a few times. Somehow, it calms me, and my crying slows down. He brings his hand down to my cheek, and cups it. 

“Why are you crying?”

“I just… I finally remembered something else, and it had nothing to do with you… I feel so bad… and I’m worried I’ll never remember everything.”

“It does have to do with me though…” He mutters, and there’s a strange look in his eyes that I can’t place. “Do you remember what happened after the contest?”

I struggle to recall the memory again, but it’s clearer than before once I have it. “I remember… that Noah wanted to try it…. So we cut another pineapple… and he made it three scoops in before he gave up… so Olivia asked if anyone else wanted to try before she and I split the rest. And…” I smile at Matt. “You said you wanted to, but only if I raced you too.” 

His eyes shine. “Yeah, and you almost won.”

“I should have won!” I protest. “But my mouth and stomach were so acidic that I had to take an antacid and everything was sore for two days.”

“Do you remember those two days?” He says, almost sounding hopeful. Did something important happen?

I scrunch my nose up. “I don’t know. What happened?”

His eyes fall, lost in thought, as a melancholy smile spreads his lips. “You and I went out for frozen yogurt the next day – my treat, because I felt bad about killing your stomach– and that’s when I –”

“That’s when you asked me out.” I finish. The memory comes back to me quickly.

~

_ “You can do this.” Matt mutters to himself, standing just outside the door he has been intending to go into for five minutes. He was finally going to ask Y/N on a date; well, a sort-of date, he wouldn’t call it a date. Unless she wanted it to be a date. Did she? Mari said she would, but Damien once told him that ‘girls are not to be trusted for girl advice’, and he trusted Damien, so who knows? _

_ He takes a deep breath and opens the door without knocking. “Hey, Y/L/N.” He pops his head into the office. _

_ “Didn’t you ever learn to knock, Sohinki?” Y/N replies; without looking up from her laptop, she knows from the sound of his voice and the fact that he called her by her last name that it was Sohinki, her closest friend and the man she secretly adores. “Or read a ‘Do Not Disturb’ door sign?” _

_ “Hey, hey, hey. Unlike Joven, I can read. I just chose to ignore it.” He smirks at the sound of her amused snort. “Anyway, do you want to go grab a bite to eat? Maybe something non-acidic, like frozen yogurt… I know you’re still dying from yesterday.” He still felt badly about challenging her to another race. He apologized repeatedly, but she just laughed it off. She said it was her own fault for saying yes, and that he shouldn’t feel bad about it. _

_ She doesn’t even hesitate to accept the offer. “Yeah, alright.” Her heart flutters at the thought of going out with him; would it be just the two of them? Was this a date? “Who’s all going?” _

_ Matt’s heart skips a beat as he answers. “Just us.” Would she say no to that? _

_ Y/N’s heart skips a beat as she hears his answer. “Sweet.” She could never say no to that. _

_ Fifteen minutes later, they are walking into the nearby frozen yogurt place, chatting away as usual. Both are secretly wondering if the other think it’s a date, but neither have the courage to say anything. _

_ They get their food and pick a table, sitting and enjoying their snack, but more importantly each other’s company. _

_ As they get down to the last of their cups, Matt clears his throat and his heart nearly stops as his sentence starts. “So, uh, Y/N… I want to ask you something…” _

_ Here it was. He’d ask her if she thought it was a date because he didn’t, or if it was true that she liked him, because there’s no damn way Mari never blabbed even though she promised she hadn’t. Y/N had told Mari about her feelings for Matt a few months prior, and a few days afterward she noticed that Matt had been acting differently. He was a bit more fidgety, a bit shyer, and was hugging her less. It was distressing, but she never questioned it. _

_ Here it was. He’d ask her if she thought it was a date and she’d laugh at him, or if it was true that she liked him because Mari had hinted at it and he really, really liked her and really, really wanted her to like him. Matt got quite nervous after Mari said that Y/N ‘may or may not like’ him, and he didn’t want to upset her or make her uncomfortable, so he tried backing off a bit; he couldn’t bring himself to cut her off or back off any more than he did. He cared about her too much to do that to her, or to himself. He had come to the realization that he didn’t how he had possibly made it to 32 years of age without having her in his life, and that he never ever wanted to lose her. But most of all, he wanted her to be happy. _

_ Thus came the inevitable… “Do you want me to get us some more yogurt?” _

__ **_Damn you, Matthew Sohinki._ **

**** _ “Uh, yeah, sure. Not too much though.” How stupid could she be? He’d never ask her about such a thing. It’s probably never even occurred to him that she liked him in that way; she’s so much younger than him. _

_ “…yeah, okay.” His stomach dropped as he picked up both of their cups to get refills. He was so stupid to think he could talk to her about this. She probably doesn’t even think of him that way; he’s so much older than her. _

_ After filling each cup halfway, he pays and returns to the table. “I got chocolate.” _

_ Y/N smiles brightly. “Chocolate is my favourite.” _

_ “I know.” _

_ They continue chatting, each both distressed and completely oblivious to the other’s pain. _

_ Eventually they got down to the last of the cups again. They stand up at the same time to throw them away, and they walk out of the building.  _

_ They get back to the office building and they’re just around the corner from where she was working when Matt suddenly stops in his tracks. _

_ Y/N turns around, only about two feet ahead of him. “You alright, Princey?” _

_ He smiles softly, briefly, at the affectionate nickname. “I just… I do actually want to ask you something, but I chickened out.” _

_ Her heartbeat quickens. She nervously chuckles. “Typical you.” _

_ He chuckles too, just as nervous. “Yeah. Typical me. I just don’t know how you’ll react.” _

_ “You can talk to me about anything, Matt. You know that.” She hoped that by calling him by his first name – which she rarely does – she would let him know that whatever it was, she would still care about him. How could she not? _

_ It almost worked. It gave him a beautiful fluttery feeling in his heart and a new boost of… something that vaguely mimicked the presence of confidence. He looks her in the eyes, takes a deep breath and lets it all out with a garbled mess that was completely inaudible. _

_ “…Was that even English, you dork?” _

_ He tried again, avoiding eye contact. He still speaks a hundred miles a minute, but at least she can understand him this time. “I just want to know if you want to go on a date with me or something, like not as friends, like as not friends, not that I don’t want to be friends, I just want to be more than friends, but if you just want to be friends that’s okay, I like being friends, I just –” _

_ “Matt.” She interrupts sharply. He looks up at her, and her eyebrows are raised, and her face is so flushed it almost radiates heat. “Are you asking me out?” She can barely breathe; it’s a wonder she managed a five-word question. _

_ He can barely breathe, but he whispers an almost unintelligible, but still distinct, ‘yes’. _

_ She can’t contain herself. She gasps and squeals, and flings her arms around his neck, jumping into his arms, causing him to fall backwards onto the carpet. She lands on top of him, her hands on either side of his head and her arms straight, her legs straddling his, blue eyes gazing deeply into hazel. A wide smile lights up her entire face. He blinks at her in surprise and in response she leans forward, her lips meeting his and causing him to re-evaluate whether he had ever felt truly happy before this moment. _

_ After they break apart, all he can manage to say is, “Is that a yes?” _

_ ~  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my own fluff more than most others' because I write it how I like it and that's the tea.  
> Be safe and healthy, and have a great day!


	7. You'll Be Late

“I remember that. I remember the whole afternoon. I remember how Shayne and Courtney found us immediately afterward and literally just started laughing at the sight of us in the middle of the hallway on the floor.” 

Matt smiles widely at the memory. “Their big mouths were the reason I never got to tell Damien for myself that I’d finally asked you out.”

“Didn’t they lie to Joven and tell him that they found us making out half-naked in a janitor’s closet?”

He cringes. “Joven was pissed that he thought he missed out on finding us in such a vulnerable position.”

I laugh. “Yeah, he was.” 

He reaches for my hand. “I’m glad you’re remembering some things now, love.”

After a light-hearted conversation in which Matt seemed infinitely happier than he was last night, it’s nearing ten o’clock and we decide to turn in for the night after the nurse comes in to give me my night-time pain medication.

“I love you.” Matt says again as he clutches my hand underneath his, his face in his arms on the side of the bed.

I want to reply in kind, even just for his sake, but before I can, the medication kicks in and I pass out.

\--

~

_“Y/N…” Matt says softly, running his hand down the arm of his sleeping girlfriend. “Sweetheart, it’s time to get up.”_

_Y/N mumbles something incoherent, opening her eyes to find Matt laying on his side above the covers, fully clothed and smirking at her. She groans and scoots closer to snuggle into his chest, clutching his shirt. “Ma~tt… Five more minutes.”_

_Matt chuckles. “You’re going to be late for your appointment.”_

_She bolts upright, nearly hitting his chin with her head in the process. “Oh, shit, what time is it?”_

_He glances at the alarm clock behind her, which flashes ‘9:46 a.m.’. “Quarter to ten.”_

_She lets out a string of expletives as she nearly leaps out of bed to throw some clothes on. She moves around the bedroom with impressive speed, almost knocking over several things._

_Matt sits up, watching her from the edge of the bed with an almost amused expression._

_“Why didn’t you wake me up?!” Y/N screeches, struggling to find a matching pair of socks before giving up and grabbing one white and one black._

_“I’m sorry that I don’t even live here, and I only just got here anyway. I tried texting you but you didn’t respond.”_

_She groans, grabbing her phone from the desk and shoving it into her jeans pocket without glancing at the screen. “I’ll see you later then.”_

_He grins. “Come back soon.”_

_She half-runs down the hallway into her kitchen, searching for her keys and other important items. She’s finally found her inhaler when she looks at the stove for an update on the time – and screeches at the top of her voice for “_ **_MATTHEW SOHINKI_ ** _!”_

_Meanwhile, said man is still sitting on the edge of the bed, grinning from ear to ear, and could have basically counted down to the second before Y/N noticed._

_He hears her storm back up the hallway and sees her slam open the bedroom door. “YOU ARE_ **_SO_ ** _DEAD, YOU ASSHOLE!”_

_He aims his grin directly at her as he says, “April Fool’s, my dear”, and the real time, on the stove clock, strikes 4:30 a.m._

~ 

I wake up slowly, with nobody calling my name. I look to my right and Matt’s chair is empty.

“Matt?” I call out, and I realize the room is relatively dark, and from what I can see of the window it’s probably nighttime.

I hear the sound of a toilet flushing and a sink running, but I can’t see where it’s coming from because it’s somewhere beyond my field of vision to my left. I turn my head – still unable to see the bathroom door – and call out for Matt again, and as if being summoned I hear a door open and Matt walks into my peripheral vision.

“What are you doing awake, love?” He asks gently, approaching the bed and running his fingers through my hair.

“I just had another dream.”

He sits on the chair next to him and takes my left hand in both of his own. “Tell me.”

“You reset my alarm clock and woke me up five and a half hours early for a dentist appointment.”

Matt starts to laugh, and his forehead falls to the edge of the bed as he can’t stop. “Shit, I remember that. I thought that was the greatest prank in the world until you showed me up this year.”

My eyes widen. “What did I do?”

“You managed to get nearly everyone I encountered the entire morning – from my coworkers, to the doorman at our apartment building, to the barista and many of the regular customers at Starbucks – to pretend they couldn’t hear me whenever I spoke.”

I can’t help but to laugh too. “Damn, I’m good.”

“Nobody ever showed us up on our collective pranks at Smosh when we were there. We’re both good.”

“Wait…” I take a deep breath. “I think I remember one.”

~

_ “How did you even think of this?!” Matt asks, staring at his friend in admiration and adoration as she logs into the next office computer. _

_ Y/N giggles. “I read about it online somewhere.”  _ [A/N: my mom did this to me once]

_ Whatever reply he had was lost with her next words. “Done. Eject the USB while I get into the next one.” _

_ They spent the wee hours of April first alone in the office, reprogramming certain aspects of all the computers – even those in any private office they could get into, and any laptop they could find. _

_ By the time eight o’clock rolled around and everyone was coming in, any computer they had access to had been modified by the prank duo. Nobody doubted that they had something large planned for April Fool’s, but what they did not expect was – _

__ **_‘Never Gonna Give You Up, Never Gonna Let You Down, Never Gonna Run Around And Desert You…’_ **

**** _ Groans and cries of aggravation swept across every office in the building as the new startup sounds echoed through the rooms.  _

_ Meanwhile, in the squad room, Y/N and Matt were toasting a cup of hot cocoa to each other – “To another successful April Fool’s prank”. _

_ Not much work got done that day; everyone was too busy trying to figure out how to fix the default action sounds, which had all been changed to a clip of the chorus of Rick Astley’s hit 1987 song. Somehow, Y/N had managed to hide her tracks well, and the normal “change default settings” worked for nobody. _

_ The pair got their come-uppance that afternoon, when Courtney and Olivia left pictures of Nicolas Cage all over their possessions while they were out for lunch. _

_ ~ _

“The Rickroll of the century, that was.” Matt says fondly.

“Indeed. I remember tweeting about it and the fans all losing their minds.”

He laughs. “I’m glad you remember that. Now, get some sleep, love.”

I gladly oblige, managing to fall asleep before he’s made it to his chair on the other side of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is shorter than the last two but that's okay.  
> Be safe and healthy, and have a great day!


	8. The Con

~

_ “Hello again, Y/L/N.” Joven says with a smirk on his face. _

_ Y/N smiles as she approaches the crew. Having talked to them for hours all three previous days of the Con, it was no surprise that they recognized her. _

_ “Hey guys!” She greets happily. _

_ Mari smiles as Y/N approaches; the two girls had gotten along really well in the last few days. She was actually kind of sad that the Con was almost over, which was surprising considering how exhausted they all were.  _

_ The crew hadn’t gotten nearly as many fans as they normally do, with most people choosing to meet-and-greet with more popular YouTubers or other celebrities that came, but Y/N was a nice breath of fresh air for all of them. She was so excited to see them, and sat with them and talked for as long as the folks in charge would let her, all four days. Thankfully, since Y/N was willing to step back and wait when some other fan came along, and was not rude or anything, the folks in charge didn’t care much how long she stayed, which had meant ‘most of the booth hours’. _

_ Y/N took a seat in the fan chair, across a small coffee table from where the rest of them were sat. Mari Takahashi, Joshua ‘Joven’ Ovenshire, Matthew Sohinki, David ‘Lasercorn’ Moss, Damien Haas, and Wes Johnson… she could hardly believe she had spent three days talking with her favourite internet people. It was completely surreal to have been able to get her meet-and-greet pass in the first place, but for them to have actually  _ **_asked her_ ** _ on the first day if she would be coming back, as though they truly enjoyed her company? It was a wonder she didn’t cry. _

_ Who was she kidding? Of course she cried. _

_ “Long time no see, Y/N.” Wes smiles brightly at her; he had really enjoyed her company as well, with them bonding over their love of candy and other ‘child-like’ things that the crew often teased him about. He was quite glad that it wasn’t just him that still enjoyed things like cartoons. Of course, he always liked to point out that the Anime the others watched were still technically cartoons, but their response was usually a raspberry blown at him or something soft thrown ‘in his general direction’. _

_ “What’s it been, like twelve hours or something?” Damien states sarcastically. _

_ Y/N rolls her eyes. “Hey, this is the last day of the Con; did you really think I wouldn’t be here?”  _

_ “Wait, it’s the last day of the Con?” Joven blinks in surprise. “I thought it went until Sunday.” _

_ “It  _ **_is_ ** _ Sunday, Joven.” Sohinki says with an exasperated sigh. _

_ Joven furrows his brow and looks off into the distance; he would seem lost in thought if it weren’t for the fact that everyone surrounding the table was well aware that he was probably just completely confused by the passage of time. _

_ “So, that damn (favourite cartoon) ending, am I right?” Wes chuckles, earning another eyeroll from Y/N. _

_ Somehow, they had gotten onto the topic of childhood passions the previous day before the folks in charge had politely pointed out that it was nearly half an hour past the closing time of the booth. _

_ It was then that they learned Wes and Y/N loved the same shows, and they had ranted for a while about the ending of one of them, and that’s when their twenty minute conversation had been brought to a halt. _

_ “Ugh, don’t get me started again. I can’t believe they...” _

_ “Hey, guys, the rest of us can’t even relate to this topic, and Joven doesn’t want spoilers.” Joven glares at Lasercorn at this statement, and starts to protest that he doesn’t even watch the show, but everyone ignores him. “Can we go on to something else before you spend another half an hour on this?” Lasercorn feigns irritation, but he was honestly just glad Wes was getting along with her so well. He sometimes felt bad about how often they teased Wes – not that he would ever admit it – and to have someone else be interested in the same things he was, was quite nice. _

_ “It was twenty minutes, Moss-Boy.” Y/N sticks her tongue out at him. _

_ Simultaneously, “Did you just call me Moss-Boy?” from Lasercorn and “Did you just call him Moss-Boy?” from Sohinki and Joven was heard by even the people in the neighbouring booth. _

_ “Honestly, I promised myself that if I ever got to meet you guys, I’d call him that at least once.” _

_ “That is  _ **_amazing_ ** _. I’m calling him Moss-Boy from now on.” Joven laughs. _

_ The seven of them continued into more relatable topics – video games, obviously – and they had all become like Joven: completely oblivious to the passage of time. _

_ “Hey, fellas, hate to break it up again, but it’s time for the crew’s lunch break.” The same security guard that had been outside their booth for three days poked his head inside the tent. _

_ They all get up to leave, and as they do so the six YouTubers share a silent conversation with glances at one another and come to an agreement.  _

_ “Hey, Y/N…” Mari starts. “Do you want to join us for lunch?” _

_ Y/N nearly drops the purse she was picking up. “You want me… to join you for lunch?” _

_ “Yeah, why not?” _

_ ~ _

\--

__ I awake with a start as I hear a familiar yet unidentifiable voice yelling something that I can’t quite understand yet.

As I adjust to the scene in front of me, I see Joven, his arm still in a sling, and Wes having some kind of argument with a nurse I haven’t seen before. 

“I don’t care if you think it was an ‘honest mistake’; at best, you could have made her incredibly sick!” Wes shouts at the nurse. “You’d think in a hospital they’d be more concerned about their patients!” I don’t recall ever seeing him so upset about something; what was going on?

“Y/N, you’re awake.” Matt’s voice brings me out of my confusion, and I turn my head to see him sitting with a strained smile in his usual chair. “Sorry if they woke you up; I tried to get them to be quieter, but you know how Joven is.” This time, after everything I’ve remembered, I think I might.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting slightly closer to the end!! Just 3 more chapters left - I split them up differently than I anticipated and realized it won't be 13 chapters but in fact 11. Stay tuned, and thanks for reading!  
> Be safe and healthy, and have a great day!


	9. Marcus

“What’s going on?” I mumble to Matt.

The nurse says something I can’t hear, and Joven’s face contorts in anger. “You shouldn’t be bringing medication into her room without checking her chart! You could have killed her!”

Before Wes can get his next word in, he turns to me and notices I am awake. “Oh, Y/N, you’re up.” Wes visibly calms down - at least in his face - and comes to sit at the chair on my other side. “How are you feeling?”

In the background I see Joven, with his non-broken arm, motion for the nurse to join him in the hallway, and the nurse reluctantly following.

“I’m fine, just a little groggy. I had another dream about a memory last night.”

“You did? What about?” Matt asks.

“The Con. The last day, when you guys asked me to join you for lunch.” 

Wes grins. “That was a great day.”

“What were you and Joven yelling at that nurse for?” I inquire, curious more than anything else.

“The nurse brought in some painkillers, but it had that medication in it that you reacted really badly to the last time you were in the hospital. You nearly went into anaphylaxis… Joven and Wes found out just in time and lost their minds.” Matt says.

“Well, since I can’t even remember that, I suppose that’s a good thing.” I joke, and Wes cracks a smile.

Joven comes back into the room eventually, still fuming so badly that I can almost see metaphorical smoke coming out of his ears. He takes a deep breath before coming to sit on the arm of Wes’ chair. “Sorry about that, Y/L/N.”

“I appreciate it, actually. I’m still in a lot of pain, but it’s better than an allergic reaction.”

“Well, seeing as you broke several ribs, that’s not surprising.” The cheery male nurse from the few previous days comes in. He checks my I.V. and my vitals. Honestly, I’m quite glad to see him. “I’m really sorry about that medication thing, Kory is being severely lectured by our supervisor. Did you want any breakfast, honey?” 

“I’m in the mood for Jell-O. I would like Jell-O... please.” I surprise even myself with that request, but the nurse gives me a bright smile. 

“Jell-O it is. I’ll be back in a bit.”

As he leaves, I smile at Matt. “I really like that nurse.”

Matt smiles back. “Me too. He reminds me of one of Shayne’s friends that used to visit… what was his name? Michael? Mark? Marco?”

“Marcus.” Wes and I say at the same time, and the boys look at me in shock.

“You remember him?”

~

_ “Hey, Y/L/N.” Shayne greets Y/N as they meet in the lobby. “Marcus is coming to visit the studio again today.” _

_ Y/N returns Shayne’s wide grin. “I’m so excited. Marcus is such a sweetheart.” _

_ “Honestly, I knew the two of you would get along. I like girls more than he does – hell,  _ **_you_ ** _ like girls more than he does – but you both love boys, so you have that in common.” _

_ Y/N sticks her tongue out at him. “Just because you don’t have the advantage of being bisexual doesn’t mean the only thing Marcus and I talk about is boys.” _

_ A little while later, Y/N is in the squad room with Courtney and Keith when there is a knock at the door. Before any of them answer, the door swings open and Shayne is standing there, his hand on the back of a tall, curly-haired man. _

_ The curly-haired ginger smiles widely and opens his arms for a hug. “Guess who?” _

_ Y/N grins and jumps up, running into Marcus’ arms. “I’m so happy you’re here! You haven’t visited in months.” _

_ “I know, honey, but work happens. On the plus side, I have some super exciting news!” _

_ Y/N stares at him wide-eyed. “Did you finally ask out that cute Starbucks guy?” _

_ Marcus flushes as he grins and nods. “His name is Derek and he’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.” He turns to Shayne. “No offence, Shay.” _

_ Shayne smirks. “None taken. I have a girlfriend.” _

_ Marcus rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. ‘No homo’ and all that. At least Courtney and Y/N share my enthusiasm for boys.” _

_ “Yeah, well, at least Y/N and Keith share my love for girls.” _

_ Y/N sighs. “Girls, girls, you’re both pretty.” _

_ The boys stare at her for a moment before Keith breaks the silence. “Oh! That’s from that Dreamworks movie about the blue villain dude!” _

_ “Megamind!” Courtney grins. “I love that movie!” _

_ ~ _

“I remember Marcus. I also remember that Courtney loves Megamind.”

Joven gasps. “I remember that movie! It’s so good!”

“You know what else was a good movie? That live-action Mulan movie that came out a few years back.” Matt grins.

“Dammit, I can’t believe I don’t remember that.” I sigh.

That night, as Matt is saying “I love you”, I manage to say it back; and I mean it. I don’t fully remember loving him before, but I certainly love him now. His eyes light up, and he gives my hand a kiss before we both fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping this chapter isn't too much for some people; I've written Reader as Bisexual because it flows nicely with the conversation with Marcus, but I'm sorry if that's uncomfortable!  
> Be safe and healthy, and have a great day!


	10. Only Fools Rush In

_ “Come on, Matt! We’re going to be late!” Y/N pulls on her boyfriend’s arm, trying to make him go faster. _

_ It doesn’t work. “We are not going to be late. I get it; you’re one of the bridesmaids, we have to be there early, but we  _ **_still_ ** _ don’t have to be there for another half an hour.” _

_ “Matt!” She pleads, exasperated. “You’re part of the wedding party too! I don’t want to be there last, and I don’t want to be there at the last possible minute. This is really important to them!” _

_ “Fine, fine.” Matt sighs.  _

_ Today – September 16 _ _ th _ _ , 2025 – was the day that Anthony and his fiancée were getting married, and both Matt and Y/N had been asked to be part of the wedding party. Y/N was absolutely ecstatic to be a bridesmaid, having never been such an intimate part of a wedding before, but Matt had been a groomsman before and was relatively less excited. _

_ They arrive at the venue exactly ten minutes before they were asked to be there, and they find Anthony and the bride-to-be in their casual clothing in the lobby. _

_ Anthony sighs with relief at seeing the two of them show up, followed closely by Joven and Kate. Kate takes charge immediately, being the only of the three girls who were there who has been a bride before, and drags the other two off to the room of the inn they had booked for getting the bride ready. _

_ Meanwhile, Anthony reluctantly leads Matt and Joven up to his booked room, completely nervous and completely not-excited to wear the tux, which didn’t quite fit him properly when it came in, but they had no time to get it fixed or get a new one. _

_ The rest of the wedding party files in over the next fifteen minutes, with Mari, Boze, Pam, Sabrina, Courtney and Olivia, as well as Shayne’s fiancée, Veronica, Keith’s girlfriend, Renee, Flitz’s wife, Carina, and Noah’s fiancée, Jessica, joining the women, and Noah, Keith, Damien, Lasercorn, Ian, Shayne, Flitz, Peter and Wes, as well as Boze’s fiancé, Isaac, joining the men. Anthony’s mom had joked that they would never be able to narrow down their wedding party and it would end up being ‘like, ten people each side’, but she assumed she would be wrong. She wasn’t. _

_ The wedding goes as smoothly as it could have with an uncomfortable and nervous groom, and an anxious and coming-out-the-ass-end-of-a-cold bride, but at least the pictures turned out nicely. Once the reception rolls around, thankfully, the couple had forgotten all their worries and performs their first dance as happy as could be. _

_ The wedding party joins them on the dance floor after their dance for a slow number, involving only the wedding party and the parents of the happy couple. As the party pairs off to dance – the couples all dancing together, with Courtney joining Wes and Damien joining Olivia– the song begins to play; a relatively new song, released in 2024;, a slow love song by Sam Smith.  _

_ “I love this song.” Y/N breathes.  _

_ The couples, and the other two pairs who weren’t a couple, all sway across the floor happily for the slow song. Y/N sings along softly, much to the delight of Matt, who believes he has never been so happy in his life.  _

_ They all dance together for the fast songs, but the slow songs almost silently demand a couple to pair off. A few hours into the night, at the start of another slow song, they all collectively – impulsively – decide to switch it up. Now, Y/N was with Wes, and Matt was with Mari, and who knows where everyone else ended up. _

_ “Are you having fun, Y/L/N?” Wes asks her with a smile on his face. _

_ “Of course. Anthony and his new wife are happy and adorable, how could I not be having fun?” _

_ “Obviously, there’s that. But I meant you, in general. Are you having fun tonight?” _

_ She steals a glance at Matt, who is doing his best to make Mari laugh with terrible dance moves that aren’t even close to matching the beat of the song. “Yes. I am.” _

_ Wes follows her gaze and smirks. “He makes you really happy, doesn’t he?” _

_ She flushes. “Yeah.” _

_ All Wes ever wanted, since the moment he met her, was for Y/N to be happy. And if that was with Matt Sohinki, then that was how it would be. Forever. But if Matt ever broke her heart, he would be the first to break his face in return. Likely, he mused, closely followed by Shayne and Joven, who were both fiercely protective over her. _

_ “I’m glad. You make a fantastic couple. I have never seen Sohinki as happy as he is with you.”  _

_ Y/N flushes deeper. “Really?” _

_ “Really. I’ve known him for years and he’s never smiled as brightly as he has in the last year and a half. I’m really happy for you guys.” _

_ She smiles at him, a genuinely flattered and wholly happy smile, and his heart both swells and breaks – he knows that smile is because of Matt, not him, but the fact that she was so happy was the only thing that he cared about. _

_ They continue the rest of the dance in a comfortable silence, and once a more upbeat song comes back on, Matt cuts in. “Trying to steal my girl, Wes?” _

_ Y/N’s heart skips a beat at the sound of Matt calling her his ‘girl’ – they’d been dating for over a year, but it never got any less exhilarating. _

_ “Not at all. I have my eyes on stealing Joven’s girl though.” He jokes, and he saunters over to dance with Joven, Kate, Pam, Ian and the newlyweds. _

_ Matt smiles as he takes Y/N’s hand. “May I have this dance?” _

_ She snorts. “Not a chance. I need to sit; I tried to convince Kate to let me wear the flats I brought, but she was having none of it. She’s a fierce maid-of-honour, that one.” _

_ He laughs as he guides her back to the massive table set aside for the wedding party. They take their seats, turning the chairs to face the dance floor. _

_ They sit in silence for a few songs, content to just hold hands and watch their friends have fun. _

_ Suddenly, an old Bruno Mars hit, ‘Uptown Funk’, comes on. _

_ “Oh! I love this song!” Y/N jumps up, grabbing Matt’s hand and pulling him back to the dance floor with her.  _

_ Matt grins at her enthusiasm as she joins Courtney and Shayne in their happy dancing.  _

_ He doesn’t care for the song – never did, even when it was popular – but he loves seeing her so happy. More than before, this is probably the happiest he’s ever been in his life, right here with her... _

_ That’s when it hits him, and he wonders why it had never hit him so hard as it just did.  _

_ He loves her. _

_ An incomparably bright smile crosses his face as she makes eye contact with him and rolls her eyes, grabbing him by the hand to make him dance with her.  _

_ He does; he dances to the best of his ability (better than Joven), if only to see her smile – and she does. _

_ As the song ends, another slow song comes on, and they glance at each other briefly before they silently decide to join in on this one too. It’s not a favourite song of either of theirs, but who can resist dancing to ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love’? _

_ They get into a close dancing position – her arms around his neck and her head buried in his chest, and his hands around her waist and chin on her hair – and they sway to the music, completely lost in the feeling of being in each other’s arms. By the time the second chorus rolls around, Matt finds himself singing along softly. _

_ Y/N looks up at him in surprise, and he blushes madly. “Sorry.” _

_ She smiles. “Don’t be sorry. You know I like it when you sing. I just didn’t know you knew the words to this one.” _

_ “Who doesn’t?” _

_ She chuckles. “That’s fair.” _

_ She leans her head into his chest again and listens to the sound of his voice singing the words that she hopes are meant for her. _

_ “ _ **_Take my hand… take my whole life too… but I can’t help falling in love with you._ ** _ ” He murmurs softly. Without warning, he moves his hands to her hips and pulls her away from him gently to look her in the eyes. “I love you, Y/N.” _

_ She feels tears threaten to sting her eyes – but she’ll be damned if Kate finds out she ruined her mascara while the photographer was still here, which she would be for another hour. “I love you too, Matt.” _

_ He was wrong before. This is the happiest he’s ever been in his life. He swings his leg under hers, knocking her off her feet into his arms in a dip, and – not caring that they were surrounded by friends, not caring that the photographer was in his peripheral vision with her camera raised – he leans down and kisses her with more passion than he ever had. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favourite chapter :')   
> Stay tuned for the final chapter later today.
> 
> Be safe and healthy, and have a great day!


	11. The End

“Matt.” I say as soon as I wake up, rolling over to shake his shoulder. “Matt. I remember.”

As I recall the memory I just dreamt about, more and more comes back to me.

He opens his eyes and stares at me in wonder. “You remember? You remember what?”

“I remember… a lot. I remember that the first time you said ‘I Love You’ was at Anthony’s wedding. I remember the wedding itself, too, and Ian’s a year beforehand. I remember when you first introduced me to your parents as your girlfriend. I remember when you surprised me on my birthday by getting us tickets to the 40 th anniversary Les Misérables broadway show in New York last year, even though you had convinced me you couldn’t get any. I remember that we were there when Noah proposed to Jessica, and that you told me you’d never propose in such a corny classical setting as a restaurant surrounded by people.”

He laughs. “I had something really sweet planned, actually.”

My eyes widen. “Tell me.”

He hesitates. “No.”

“Why not?”

He gives me a soft smile. “I would rather show you.”

I give him puppy-dog eyes. “Show me, please.”

“Not yet.” He states. “Someday.”

-

About a month later, back at home in our apartment, I’ve forgotten about this promise when one day he wakes me up, telling me I need to see something.

Before I can say anything, he takes my hand and pulls me out of the bed; despite him only being in pajama pants and me only being in a t-shirt and shorts, he drags me to the living room where he sits me on the couch and tells me to close my eyes.

I eye him suspiciously, but I oblige. 

I hear the sound of a console starting up, but I can’t tell which one. 

Eventually, he lets me open my eyes. And I’m staring at the title screen of a Beta copy of Portal 3.

“No fucking way!” I screech, jumping up out of my seat. “Where did you get access to this!? I thought the beta was impossible to get!”

Matt smirks. “I have connections.”

“We have to play. Right now.” I insist, grabbing my controller.

He laughs, grabbing his own. “Why else would I have brought you out here?”

We play through a few co-op levels, marvelling at the new graphics and the fantastic gameplay. Eventually, we get to a level that looks a bit different than the rest of them. 

“What’s this?”

He shrugs. “Different level designer, maybe.”

We work through the level, and I start to notice that there are things in the level that remind me of memories with Matt. A cube that looks suspiciously like a cup of frozen yogurt. Instrumental versions of Michael Jackson’s songs playing instead of the level music. And, most surprisingly, a picture from Anthony’s wedding on one of the walls.

“Is this a level made for us?” I ask softly, smirking at him slightly.

He avoids my gaze. “Maybe.”

As we get close to the end of the level, I hear GLaDOS begin to speak. ‘ _ Well done, Y/L/N and Sohinki. I’m sure you’ll both figure out the answer to this next puzzle quite quickly after that performance. Then again, maybe I’ve put too much faith in you. I suppose we’ll have to see.’ _

__ I gasp as I look at Matt. “She just said our names.”

He says nothing, but his ears begin to turn red.

We enter the last room and while I expect to see a puzzle, I don’t. All I see is a giant gap between us and the door to the exit.

I’m confused, so I approach the edge. And then I drop my controller.

At the bottom of the gap are five words spelled out with cubes. 

**_Y/N_ **

**_Will You Marry Me?_ **

I turn to look at Matt, and he’s kneeling on the floor in front of where he was sitting, with a ring box in his hand.

Before he can say anything, I launch myself forward and throw my arms around his neck, knocking him on his back. I straddle his hips and lean forward, clutching his shirt as my lips meet his.

I hear the ring box softly hit the floor as his hands move to my hips, and as we shed what few layers of clothing we were wearing, we move together with so much passion that I nearly forget about the unanswered question.

As we catch our breath, he addresses it. “So is that a yes?”

The only answer I give him is another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this fic!  
> Special thanks to Damien, my number one fan, and to Chamsys for their unending support in my surge of works this week.  
> Be safe and healthy, and have a great day!

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a kudos or comment if you'd like!  
> Be safe and healthy, and have a great day!


End file.
